Thursday, April 19, 2012

I've lost myself.

Have you ever felt like you’re Chuck (Tom Hanks) in Cast Away? Completely lost, stranded, like you’ve lost your sanity and your only friend is a Wilson volleyball? Well, that’s kind of how I feel…except the volleyball would be my stuffed bear, Cuddles, whom I adore sincerely. I know I have kept to myself the past few months. You’re lucky if I text you, call you or even talk to you on Facebook. So, here’s my excuse.

I have completely lost myself. I couldn't tell you who I am nor who I was. I couldn’t tell you if I’m happy, sad, lonely, or satisfied. I couldn’t tell you who I consider my friends seeing as I avoid mostly everyone. I couldn't tell you why this has happened but I can tell you that I don't plan on making an effort to fix this. I wouldn’t know where to begin. 

I’m extremely lost and just hope than one day my cargo ship will pass by and take me back to myself, my emotions, and civilization. There is one thing I do know; all the friendships I have ruined through this will never be the same or will never be existent again. Who am I to be selfish enough to burn bridges and then proceed to try to rebuild a friendship that can never be built with the same structure and exquisiteness?   That’s just absurd.

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