I've lost myself.

Have you ever felt like you’re Chuck (Tom Hanks) in Cast Away? Completely lost, stranded, like you’ve lost your sanity and your only friend is a Wilson volleyball? Well, that’s kind of how I feel…except the volleyball would be my stuffed bear, Cuddles, whom I adore sincerely. I know I have kept to myself the past few months. You’re lucky if I text you, call you or even talk to you on Facebook. So, here’s my excuse.

I have completely lost myself. I couldn't tell you who I am nor who I was. I couldn’t tell you if I’m happy, sad, lonely, or satisfied. I couldn’t tell you who I consider my friends seeing as I avoid mostly everyone. I couldn't tell you why this has happened but I can tell you that I don't plan on making an effort to fix this. I wouldn’t know where to begin. 

I’m extremely lost and just hope than one day my cargo ship will pass by and take me back to myself, my emotions, and civilization. There is one thing I do know; all the friendships I have ruined through this will never be the same or will never be existent again. Who am I to be selfish enough to burn bridges and then proceed to try to rebuild a friendship that can never be built with the same structure and exquisiteness?   That’s just absurd.

You have to love this guy.

Poster number 4/25 hand-made by Christopher Gutierrez. He's the most inspiring person I know. Look him up and read his books.

College: where the alcoholism begins.

After seeing these lovely photos, please tell me.. 

what’s so great about drinking? 

I do have to admit, they are hilarious. While being hilarious, they’re also super embarrassing. I bet you wouldn’t want to be the next one posted on my blog while drunk, would you? Exactly.

Some of you may be reading this and be thinking; “Cool Mindy, way to contradict yourself. YOU DRINK.”. To correct you, I haven’t been in college.

Most people don’t believe me when I tell them this, but it’s true.

Yes, I had my point of life where I hosted the parties and was, to say the least, a shit-show. 

Well, I’ve grown up. 

I don’t really feel the need to get wasted anymore. I recently moved to Columbus and just have lost the urge or want to. I’d just simply rather not. For multiple reasons. These reasons being listed below.

1.       Once again, look back up at those pictures…okay….next.

2.       It KILLS your liver. Care for yourself! 

 3.       I would rather be in control of my body and my actions.

4.       I also prefer to be able to walk on my own, unlike Paris up above.

5.       Alcohol has SOOO many calories. I’m trying to avoid freshman 15, thank you.

6.       It’s so expensive! I’m a poor college kid. Spending my cash at Whole Foods is more important to me.

7.       I prefer to eat my food...Not puke it up.

8.       Alcohol doesn’t even taste good…so…yeah…

9.       I can have fun sober.

10.   It shows a side of you that no one wants to see.

11.   Lastly, look at the pictures again…do you want to be them!? Ew. Trashy.

Now, I’m not telling you to go straightedge. (But if you do, props to you.) I am just showing the disadvantages of alcohol…while there aren’t really any advantages.

I have to admit, I do have the occasional drink here and there to be social, but I don’t get anywhere close to plastered or wasted. That’s just gross.

I am perfectly fine with watching the shit-show/hot mess happen around me. It keeps me entertained and makes me feel good about myself.

As Drake once said, “I just wanna be successful.” I put my school work before my social life because that’s what is most important to me right now. Even if it means doing homework on a Saturday night.

So, next time you go to grab the bottle; think about those pictures up above…

Do you really want to be viewed like that?